Victorians and nobles and many traditionalists of the past lookd down on wedding for Love, and despite what we like to think, this restrictive way of thinking persists. Their position was (and is) that the purpose of marriage was to ensure the future of the line by smart pairing – a strong provider with a healthy mother. People in love are irrational, and to wed for love supposedly threatens the security of those sound investments and plans, by sacrificing good judgment for silly affections and urges.
But what if erotic love is there for the same purpose as the wedding arrangers? What if it’s better: intuitive planning rather than rational? Arrangement via the subconscious. The notion that consciousness extends down to the molecular level may imply that our genes are doing the arranging for us.
Maybe to really fall in love is sparkd by our DNA knowing what’s best for it. The American Indian practice of “marrying across the circle” – that is, marry someone from the tepees on the side across from you, rather than from the ones on your side, which are your relatives. Classic examples of arranged marriages include the British Royals and Dalmation dogs, pinnacles of inbreeding. Your subconscious may know more about a good genetic match, receiving information from your DNA and responding to certain physical features or pheromones indicative of someone who will help you produce healthy offspring and avoid inbreeding and hidden health defects. Your subconscious can see who is across your circle.
Of course, who knows for sure the diffrence between true love and simple lust? And even love, couldn’t it be a matter of “take what you can get?” Couldn’t there be some still-better match for you out there, but someone you could never get to, say, a movie star? Our genes set their sights high, but our brains say “know when to fold em,” and settle for the best that’s readily available.
The old bards who sang of romance crossing class barriers and economic lines were revolutionaries, praising erotic love above social duties. These “undesirables” – wanderers of no high rank, but followers of noble truths like Joy and Unity – these were the original heartthrobs, kicking up love’s dust.
Even today, musicians and artists are objects of desire, love idols. Is it because human genes see them as a true match, even if everyone else sees them as their own match as well? Can a true love belong to more than one? (This is not to condone the cliche behavior of musicians with illegitimate children dotting the map.)
Perhaps these questioning, yearning, FEELING folks bear the genes of a higher mind and truer heart, and these are qualities our species values for the future above Social Rank, stores of gold, plots of land, etc. Compassion, intuition, insight, patience, gentleness, joy, LOVE: THESE are things our DNA responds to, and wants to pass on to our children.
The new discovery that our genome, within each of us, changes every day suggests that the more one cultivates these ideals in oneself, the more present they are to be genetically hardwired. These are values that push our evolution forward to something more noble. If mankind has, or will create, a purpose to its existence, it will rise from these qualities – cultivated not by careful and conscious hoeing and rowing, but by the wild-sown Free Instincts of Love.